Which path?

Just a few years ago (when I was about 15 years old), I witnessed many of my seniors making calls and enquiring here and there on what they should study after their SPM (a public exam taken by students at the end of their secondary education in Malaysia). Some of them received quite a number of offers from myriad universities and colleges, and they were in dilemma of which to accept. Some of them had none, and thus they had to go for private institutions. Then, I found myself asking: What is so hard about choosing which course to take up in tertiary education? I was too foolish...

At warp speed, the years took to their heels and before realisation dawned on me, it is the turn of my batch to wade the same ordeal. Even before we sat for SPM, several friends asked me (who is absolutely untrained to advise in this field) in which direction should they steer their attention and more-or-less-five-year-worth of their life to, to escape the ruthless grasp of regret. Of course I didn't have the answers! I didn't have the answer for myself, and I didn't even bother to think of one! I thought the answer would come to me on its own. I was too foolish...

After SPM, some of my friends left town earlier than most of us to pursue their further education (I hope they do well!) in various different fields. But before long, there came some yell and scowl (can't adapt themselves to the new environments, can't keep up with lessons, can't socialise...) from a few of these early-leavers. Some of them are successful, though, and are kind enough to pass me some tips on 'surviving in the wild'. I started to feel the heat, but I brushed it off. Again, I was too foolish...

The apprehension that it is now my turn to make a decision hits me hard at the back of my head. Alas, now I feel like I'm walking on a bed of glowing charcoal! What am I good at? What am I really interested in? What do I really want? What is the thought of my family? If I were to go for this, how would my future be? If I were to go for something else, ditto. And even if I've really came down on what to study, would I qualify? And another big question that renders me sleepless at night: Will the institution that I choose accept me?

Which path should I take? Will I not cry over my choice? All this unfruitful cogitation is definitely killing me! Oh, did I mention how every university and college announces the result of admittance on different dates? They are worsening my already-critical migraine (just figurative, of course, I'm still quite healthy apart from owning a priceless pot belly)! How ever do they plan things? Howbeit, I've placed my bets (to be revealed when the result is out!), and the dice has been thrown. The game, has begun...